What If You Don’t Even Have a Comfort Zone?

We always hear that change doesn’t happen in our comfort zone… that we have to step outside of it to grow. But what if you don’t have a comfort zone to begin with? What if life has already pushed you so far outside of stability and ease that you’re constantly uncomfortable, just trying to survive?

If you’ve been struggling to find your place in the world, if life feels like an uphill battle where you never get to rest, then the idea of pushing yourself even further is exhausting. You don’t need to be told to get uncomfortable - you’ve been living in discomfort for too long.

Instead of forcing yourself to move forward, maybe the real work is in finding moments to exhale. To drop your shoulders, to surrender, to feel safe - even if just for a moment.

You are so strong and capable, but you’re tired. You’ve been swimming upstream, fighting just to stay afloat. I am reminded of the words of the prayer of serenity (which ties us back to February’s newsletter!): Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Because when you stop trying to control everything, when you release the endless battle of fixing, pushing, and struggling, you’ll start to see what you can control. And that is enough. That’s where real change begins.

The truth is, you’re already changing.

This discomfort you feel? It’s not because you’re stuck, it’s because you’re ready. Even if you don’t realize it yet. Change is calling you forward, and it will keep getting louder and more uncomfortable until you listen.

There is no comfort zone to step out of anymore. Life has already shifted you, through events and circumstances, needs and responsibilities. The things that once felt stable may no longer fit, and the things that once defined you may no longer apply.

You are in the in-between.

I get it, I’ve been stuck too. I was in a marriage that I should have given up on. There were many times when, in the moment, I should have packed up my kids and left. I wasn’t in a comfort zone, but the story I told myself were the limiting beliefs that shaped my actions, and they kept me there. I believed I had made a lifelong commitment I shouldn’t walk away from, I shouldn’t expect every day to be sunshine and roses, and that even if I did want to leave I had nowhere to go. So, in my mind staying was the only option. But then life made the choice for me! Suddenly, I was thrown from uncomfortable and exhausted, to broken and alone, but I still had responsibilities so completely falling apart wasn’t an option either. Now that I’m on the other side, I can see clearly what I was settling for, and nothing could make me go back to the place that I would never have left.

It’s an unsettling place to be - uncertain, frustrating, unfamiliar. Your old life doesn’t fit anymore, but you haven’t stepped into the new one yet. And maybe you’re not even sure if you’re up for the transformation that’s required to move forward.

We all carry these limiting beliefs that shape our reality. Some of them keep us safe, giving us a familiar sense of structure, even if that structure is built from fear. As much as we say we want change, part of us resists it because the unknown is scary. Even when we’re unhappy, at least we know this version of life.

So how do we let go?

Truthfully, I don’t know the exact answer, because there isn’t just one. Some days, change feels exciting and possible. Other days, just making it through is all we can handle. The key is in trusting that you are exactly where you need to be.

If you can stay open to possibility, if you can allow yourself to imagine what your future could look like - not just what it might look like, but what it would feel like - then you are already calling it in.

Right now, it might feel impossible to believe in a future that excites you. But the first step isn’t forcing change, it’s allowing yourself to believe that something better is possible. You don’t have to know exactly what’s next, just that you won’t stay here forever - because you deserve more, you deserve better.

And that’s where manifestation comes in.

Manifestation isn’t about wishing for something and hoping the universe drops it into your lap. It’s about aligning with the version of yourself that already has what you desire.

Let’s say you want to run a marathon (not me, but hey, good for you!). You could want it, you could believe it’s possible, and you could imagine yourself crossing the finish line. But that’s not what makes it happen. What makes it real is embodying the habits of a marathon runner. Training, eating to fuel your body, adjusting your schedule, committing to the work.

The same applies to any transformation in life. You don’t just wish for confidence, clarity, success, or love - you become the person who is already living that reality.

So instead of focusing on how long it will take, or doubting whether it will happen, focus on who you are becoming in the process. The version of you that is thriving already exists, you just have to step into her shoes.

And trust me, when you do, you’ll realize she was there waiting for you all along and you will be thankful for the change that you never realised how much you wanted.